TrainWrite

Sandwiches

(inspired by “Brot und Käse”)

by Jasoni

“Sandwiches!”

That’s all they sell on these things

Overpriced sandwiches and overpriced crisps

I should have gone to Marks n’ Spencers before I got on

I didn’t want to spend any money after that overpriced ticket

Now I have to buy an overpriced sandwich

I shouldn’t eat too much bread anyway

My waist’s the same size sideways as it is head on

Liz got like that

Wow, that was a long time ago

I wonder what she’s doing now

Maybe I should get a sandwich

Oh fff’he’s walked passed me

If I didn’t want one he would have stopped

Bastard

Can’t call after him

Guy says to a friend: I need to lose some weight, think I’ll go on a ‘man-diet’. Two weeks later he’s half the size. His friend says: What did you do? The guy says: I just stopped eating bread

I’ll tell that one to Derek

He’s better at telling jokes than me

He just finds himself so damn funny you find yourself laughing along with him

I should have bought a sandwich

She’s gorgeous

The way she plays with her hair

What a face

She’s probably not interesting

Curse me for being so shallow

I thought I was in love with Liz

Got what I deserved on that one

She was as empty as a beach ball

And she got fat after we started going out

Just my luck

Look at this belly

Who am I to talk?

She is gorgeous

It’s depressing

Why is it depressing?

God knows

Centuries ago, one guy says to another: Let’s celebrate the birth of Christ in the middle of winter when it’s all cold and depressing – it’ll cheer everyone up. His mate says: Good idea, God knows when he was actually born.

Too subtle, no one’s going to get that one

Effing overpriced ticket

It’s going to have me in a bad mood all weekend

I’m not going to buy a single drink tonight

Just watch everyone around me get drunk

Then I won’t be fun and I won’t get off with anyone

I never get off with anyone anyway

Can’t tell a joke like Derek

Not as tall as Eric

Don’t work out like Guy

Can’t hold my liquor like Sam

If I get drunk enough so that I am interesting I’m not physically able to do anything

All those years of reading big books, trying to be funny, learning guitar to get girls

I should have been training myself to handle booze

I fall asleep by the time everyone starts pairing off

Or get so hungry I need a kebab

Why can’t we have Spanish-late-night-tapas culture?

Food, conversation…

I’d be good at that

What time is it?

I better stop staring

She’ll catch me

One last blink

She could be really down to earth

It happens sometimes

All Liz did was eat, sleep, brush her hair and do her make up

I should have cut my hair yesterday

No one’s going to go with a fat scruff

Maybe I should get a sandwich

Jasoni writes stories inspired by his dreams, memories and other people’s stories, and Hal Hartley films, and episodes of Spaced, and things people say to him. His work can be found at Pure Slush and Kaffe in Katmandu.